September 18, 2009 | Mark Paradies

Friday Joke: Golf Quotes to Contemplate Just Before the TapRooT® Summit Golf Tournament

Mike Rodriguez (a TapRooT® User who is signed up for the Summit and the Summit Golf Tournament) send me these quotes. Gives you some things to think about between now and the Summit!


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(Thats Mike on the left)

Here are the quotes…

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

   ~ Sam Snead

A hungry dog hunts best.

   ~ Lee Trevino

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen..

   ~ Lee Trevino

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

   ~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.

   ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.

   ~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.

   ~ Kevin Costner

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

   ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

   ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

   ~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it.

   ~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

   ~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

   ~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground..

   ~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best

   ~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.

   ~ H G Wells

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.

   ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

   ~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

   ~ Henny Youngman

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

   ~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

   ~ Lee Trevino

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

   ~ Lee Trevino

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