August 1, 2008 | Barb Carr

Friday Joke: How did the accident happen?

Following are some cleverly crafted responses to the car insurance claim form question, “How did the accident happen?”

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

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