June 20, 2008 | Barb Carr

Friday Jokes: Las Vegas Tips

For those of you packing for the 2008 Summit in Las Vegas next week — here are a couple of hot tips:

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, “When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealers fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him?”

The dealer said, “When you eat out do you tip the waiter?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, he serves you food, I’m serving you cards so you should tip me.”

“OK, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for…I’ll take an eight.”

* * * * *

Two friends, Smith and Jones, went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when his allotted money was gone, he would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for his friend.

Jones quickly lost all of his money and went to sit on the bench. He waited and waited and waited and waited.

After what seemed an eternity, he saw Smith coming toward him carrying a huge sack of coins.

“Hey, Jones,” said Smith, “how’d you do?”

“Well, Smith”, said Jones, “you see me here on this bench- what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though.”

“Oh yeah,” said Smith, “did I find a good machine! It’s way in the back. I’ll show it to you-you can’t lose! Every time you put a dollar in, four quarters come out!”

* * * *

See you in Vegas!

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